Generic Medieval RTD

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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:40 pm

Brew up a potion to dull the pain/get me really f*cking high after all this shit (girl jacking my clothes, flaming dude burning me)

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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Tue Feb 12, 2013 9:47 pm

Ignacious: [2]
You attempt to calm down, and instead turn to the barkeep, scream some incomprehensible gibberish in his face, to which he replies, astonished 'W-what?'. You then awkwardly scream 'Y-YOU TOO' and then stare at your bloodsoaked treetrunks awkwardly.

Choculatt: [1]
You try to ignore the fire, but you can't stop screaming. When you finally calm down, you attempt to adapt to the sun, and instead scream and attempt to drink the blood from a passing minotaur. He looks down at you and says 'whatchuwant whiteboy hehe hey guys look at this chump' and then starts to shove you into an alleyway.

Ravenwing: [1]
You try to brew a potion, and instead create a terrifying concoction that somehow forms a terrorist wearing a bomb jacket, and then he explodes in your face, leaving you at 3/10 HP.

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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:10 pm

Go in an alleyway and buy some ye olde Crocodile, get way fucked up on it
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:11 pm

Use PRIMAL INSTINCTS to sense that a delicious breakfast cereal is in danger, and find the quickest way to kick whatever threatens such a beautiful being.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:35 pm

Dazzle the Big hunky minotaur with your [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:45 pm

Ravenheart: [1] You walk into an alleyway and attempt to buy some ye olde Crocodile, but instead buy a ye vicious crocodile. This costs you 50 silvers, and now you have a vicious crocodile to deal with.

Choculatt: [6] + [1] (Illusion magic)
You summon Frankenstein to tell him that Frankenberry has strawberry flavored sweeties, then you tell him that Count Chocula has chocolate flavored sweeties. Then you throw a beachball in his face.

Ignacious: [6] + [1] (Primal Instincts) = [7]
You sense that a breakfast cereal is in danger, and then leap into an alleyway. There, you see a vampire with buckteeth explaining to a confused minotaur that Count Chocula has chocolate flavored sweeties. You detect that the quickest way to dispatch the minotaur is to slash out his Achilles tendons (do minotaurs even have those??) and kick him in the knees.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:53 pm

kick the minotaur right in the boing-loings
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:05 am

Loose the crocodile into the house of that bitch who stole my clothes.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Wed Feb 13, 2013 1:37 am

IN THE BOING-LOINGS.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:36 pm

Choculatt: [3]
You attempt to kick the minotaur in the boingloings, but instead slip like something from a Charlie Chaplin movie. He chuckles and says 'You funny guy.'

Ravenheart: [2]
You loose the crocodile into the town hall on accident. Approximately 10 people die, with 23 injured.

Ignacious: [10] jesus christ
You sprint up to the minotaur at sanic speeds and slam your foot right into his BOING-LOINGS, and launch him 5 feet in the air from the blow. As he comes down, his testicals launch from his mouth across the alleyway. He hits the ground and breaks half the bones in his body. The minotaur is dead.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:39 pm

replace the dead minotaurs blood with CHOCOBAT
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Wed Feb 13, 2013 8:52 pm

Climb up onto some guys roof and start yelling obscenities at passerby and pounding on said roof


Last edited by Lomiej on Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Thu Feb 14, 2013 2:53 am

Why masticate when you can SELF-IMMOLATE!?
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:07 pm

Choculatt: [5]
You manage to dump some chocobat down his throat, unfortunately he gargles on it and his eyes roll up into his head.

Ravenheart: [4]
You try to climb onto some guy's roof, but it looks like you're fucking his door so he punches you in the ass.

Ignacious: [2] + [1] (Self Immolation) = [3]
You put the torch on your arm and you kinda singe a bit. Unfortunately, no great blaze.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:10 pm

Groan in ecstasy and grind against his fist, deluded by the horrific events I have witnessed.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:12 pm

fine. then drink the faggots the douch bags minotaurs blood
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Fri Feb 15, 2013 12:12 am

Paint yourself with the blood of the fallen foe.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:10 am

Ravenheart: [5]
You grind against his fist a bit and whimper. He runs away like a pussy.

Choculatt: [8]
You slurp the minotaur blood and heal all of your wounds. It vaguely tastes like CHOCOBAT(TM)

Ignacious: [8]
You smear some of the minotaur's blood on you, or what you can get after the odd bucktooth milkmancer slurps up the minotaur's blood. You now have tribal markings.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:31 am

wear the minotaurs withered corpse
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:49 am

Cut off the minotaur's horns, and make a decorative headdress.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:55 am

Start debasing myself in public. Submit to the depraved voices echoing in my tormented mind.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Sat Feb 16, 2013 6:53 pm

Ravenheart:
Random number (1,10) : 8

Choculatt:
Random number (1,10) : 8

Ignacious:
Random number (1,10) : 10
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Sat Feb 16, 2013 6:56 pm

Ravenheart: [8]
You submit to the depraved voices, and start screaming wildly and stripping off your clothes.

Ignacious: [10]
You tear out the minotaur's horns in explosions of gore, and then you tether them onto your head using his muscle sinews. You use bones as drapery around the head-dress, like hair. It gives you a +1 to Terrifying the Shit out of People

Choculatt: [8]
You take what's left after Ignacious is done with the body and drape it over your cloak. It gives you a +1 to piercing protection when being attacked from behind.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Poland on Sat Feb 16, 2013 7:07 pm

create CHOCOBAT (TM) Milk product in mass to sell to the public
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lomiej on Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:23 pm

Score some coke.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Sun Feb 17, 2013 3:28 am

Found a religion.
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Re: Generic Medieval RTD

Post  Lautrec of Carim on Sun Feb 17, 2013 5:42 am

Choculatt:
Random number (1,10) : 9

Ravenwing:
Random number (1,10) : 7

Ignacious:
Random number (1,10) : 6


Last edited by Lautrec of Carim on Sun Feb 17, 2013 5:42 am; edited 1 time in total
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