Real The Dice

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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Poland on Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:26 am

Roll to beat the fuck out of the counter in the bottom of each of the DM's Posts

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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Lomiej on Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:35 am

ROUND 1 - TURN 5

Michael Bay wrote:I roll to hit on the fine lady that fell out of the sky.
[6][5] You telepathize some sexy thoughts at the rock. You feel like she probably likes you back.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to beat the fuck out of the counter in the bottom of each of the DM's Posts
[2] You leap into the air and attempt to beat the fuck out of the counter at the bottom of my posts. Unfortunately,


Last edited by Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:23 am

Add the fine new lady, named Sofia Coppola, to your self to form a primitive golem.
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  PygmyGoat on Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:06 pm

Spoiler:
(Alright, kids, y'all are having a bit too much fun, I think I'll join in to mediate this excessive amount of entertainment.)

Name: Olena
Race: Partially crazy detective of ZigZag in the Land of Gadzooks
Gender: Female
Proficiencies: Writing, sense of smell, yodeling
Deficiencies: Acting sane around others, making jokes, organization
Mediocrities: Charm, navigation, drawing.


Last edited by PygmyGoat on Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Poland on Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:07 pm

Roll to yamaca the shit outta the boulder
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:48 am

@Olena:
Go ahead and act, also: I suggest playing something not native to Kiev unless you like it better that way :b!
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  PygmyGoat on Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:22 pm

Spoiler:
Alright, fixed it, not native to Kiev anymore!

Roll to inspect the shit out of that destroyed building.
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:57 pm

ROUND 1 - TURN 6

Michael Bay wrote:Add the fine new lady, named Sofia Coppola, to your self to form a primitive golem.
[2 + 1 Animal Husbandry] Sofia kind of half-merges with your rocky form, becoming loosely attached by a combination of the metaphysical equivalent of double-sided tape and refrigerator magnets.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to yamaca the shit outta the boulder
[3 + 1 Judaism] You put one of your designer yamakas on the boulder. It is rather small relative to its wearer, sadly.

Olena wrote:Roll to inspect the shit out of that destroyed building.
[5] You discover several interesting things, like what the building was for, the scene of a murder, how it was destroyed (by a giant rock), the scene of a murder, a secret door in a bookshelf, and a suspicious looking man who is wearing an enormous foam nose on one hand and has a sack of Grivnas in the other. He is hitched to a wagon full of Margaritaville Margarita Mixers, the Kievian Approved Brand™. The man is placing a yamaka on the boulder that crushed the building you are currently investigating.
[5] You also realize you have 8100грн.

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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:08 pm

Attempt to siphon funds to complete the total merger.
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  PygmyGoat on Wed Aug 01, 2012 3:35 am

Roll to interrogate the mystery man and his suspicious yamakas
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Poland on Wed Aug 01, 2012 4:07 pm

Roll to carve a giant star of david out of Sophia Coppola
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Lomiej on Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:21 pm

ROUND 1 - TURN 7

Michael Bay wrote:Attempt to siphon funds to complete the total merger.
[1][4] You fail to do that right now because some jewish man keeps messing with Sofia's aether-fields.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to carve a giant star of david out of Sophia Coppola
[6 + 1 Judaism][5+1][4][1] You carve a massive star of david into Sofia the boulder without really thinking about why (or how) you're doing it. You stand in front of the red-hot crevice patterns in the mangled rock, bathed in an ethereal jewish light. Suddenly, Sofia's surface splits open along the cracks like an egg, releasing a spatial distortion. You watch with nonplussed jewish eyes as the glowing universe-bubble slowly rises like a balloon, before bursting and releasing a rush of heat and light.

When you can open your eyes again, Sofia is whole once more (with carvings, of course), and in front of her stands a little girl. She has the innocent expression of an easy mark on her face.


Olena wrote:Roll to interrogate the mystery man and his suspicious yamakas
[2] You fail to interrogate him because you're distracted by weird shit happening.

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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Poland on Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:34 pm

Ask the little girl to be my JEWPARTNER
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:31 pm

Shed a single, petrified tear at the Judaic splendor at what ever the fuck just happened. Also crush the small child.
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Re: Real The Dice

Post  PygmyGoat on Mon Aug 06, 2012 12:25 am

There is definitely some crazy ass Dr. Evil shit going on here. Roll to give the girl a ticket for her illegal parking job.
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Re: Real The Dice

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