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Post  Poland on Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:26 am

Roll to beat the fuck out of the counter in the bottom of each of the DM's Posts

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Post  Lomiej on Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:35 am

ROUND 1 - TURN 5

Michael Bay wrote:I roll to hit on the fine lady that fell out of the sky.
[6][5] You telepathize some sexy thoughts at the rock. You feel like she probably likes you back.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to beat the fuck out of the counter in the bottom of each of the DM's Posts
[2] You leap into the air and attempt to beat the fuck out of the counter at the bottom of my posts. Unfortunately,
Real The Dice - Page 2 292r47nReal The Dice - Page 2 292r47nReal The Dice - Page 2 292r47nReal The Dice - Page 2 292r47nReal The Dice - Page 2 292r47n


Last edited by Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:42 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:23 am

Add the fine new lady, named Sofia Coppola, to your self to form a primitive golem.
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Post  PygmyGoat on Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:06 pm

Spoiler:
(Alright, kids, y'all are having a bit too much fun, I think I'll join in to mediate this excessive amount of entertainment.)

Name: Olena
Race: Partially crazy detective of ZigZag in the Land of Gadzooks
Gender: Female
Proficiencies: Writing, sense of smell, yodeling
Deficiencies: Acting sane around others, making jokes, organization
Mediocrities: Charm, navigation, drawing.


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Post  Poland on Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:07 pm

Roll to yamaca the shit outta the boulder
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Post  Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:48 am

@Olena:
Go ahead and act, also: I suggest playing something not native to Kiev unless you like it better that way :b!
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Post  PygmyGoat on Mon Jul 30, 2012 2:22 pm

Spoiler:
Alright, fixed it, not native to Kiev anymore!

Roll to inspect the shit out of that destroyed building.
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Post  Lomiej on Mon Jul 30, 2012 9:57 pm

ROUND 1 - TURN 6

Michael Bay wrote:Add the fine new lady, named Sofia Coppola, to your self to form a primitive golem.
[2 + 1 Animal Husbandry] Sofia kind of half-merges with your rocky form, becoming loosely attached by a combination of the metaphysical equivalent of double-sided tape and refrigerator magnets.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to yamaca the shit outta the boulder
[3 + 1 Judaism] You put one of your designer yamakas on the boulder. It is rather small relative to its wearer, sadly.

Olena wrote:Roll to inspect the shit out of that destroyed building.
[5] You discover several interesting things, like what the building was for, the scene of a murder, how it was destroyed (by a giant rock), the scene of a murder, a secret door in a bookshelf, and a suspicious looking man who is wearing an enormous foam nose on one hand and has a sack of Grivnas in the other. He is hitched to a wagon full of Margaritaville Margarita Mixers, the Kievian Approved Brand™. The man is placing a yamaka on the boulder that crushed the building you are currently investigating.
[5] You also realize you have 8100грн.

13
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Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:08 pm

Attempt to siphon funds to complete the total merger.
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Post  PygmyGoat on Wed Aug 01, 2012 3:35 am

Roll to interrogate the mystery man and his suspicious yamakas
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Post  Poland on Wed Aug 01, 2012 4:07 pm

Roll to carve a giant star of david out of Sophia Coppola
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Post  Lomiej on Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:21 pm

ROUND 1 - TURN 7

Michael Bay wrote:Attempt to siphon funds to complete the total merger.
[1][4] You fail to do that right now because some jewish man keeps messing with Sofia's aether-fields.

Grumple the Brave wrote:Roll to carve a giant star of david out of Sophia Coppola
[6 + 1 Judaism][5+1][4][1] You carve a massive star of david into Sofia the boulder without really thinking about why (or how) you're doing it. You stand in front of the red-hot crevice patterns in the mangled rock, bathed in an ethereal jewish light. Suddenly, Sofia's surface splits open along the cracks like an egg, releasing a spatial distortion. You watch with nonplussed jewish eyes as the glowing universe-bubble slowly rises like a balloon, before bursting and releasing a rush of heat and light.

When you can open your eyes again, Sofia is whole once more (with carvings, of course), and in front of her stands a little girl. She has the innocent expression of an easy mark on her face.


Olena wrote:Roll to interrogate the mystery man and his suspicious yamakas
[2] You fail to interrogate him because you're distracted by weird shit happening.

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Post  Poland on Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:34 pm

Ask the little girl to be my JEWPARTNER
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Post  Ornstein da Dragun Slaya on Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:31 pm

Shed a single, petrified tear at the Judaic splendor at what ever the fuck just happened. Also crush the small child.
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Post  PygmyGoat on Mon Aug 06, 2012 12:25 am

There is definitely some crazy ass Dr. Evil shit going on here. Roll to give the girl a ticket for her illegal parking job.
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